Be Her Coach

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The Direct Sales Husband's Handbook

One of the best things you can do as a Direct Sales Husband is to be a coach to your wife. This is something you may need to be a little bit careful about, but for every husband out there, you are definitely in the best position of anybody in the world to be your wife’s “coach.”

Now, coaching means different things to different people, but I found a really great explanation of what those of us who are in this position with our wife should be looking for. Check out this Minute with John Maxwell and then come back here (it’s short, but good!)

In that video, Maxwell quotes John Wooden (one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time) as saying “A coach is someone who can work along side of you and correct you without criticizing you in a way that is negative in your life.” So he says it’s a word that means “come alongside.” To teach, to encourage, to help, to lead. And to do so with perspective.

The ability to understand the other person and somewhat put yourself in their position in order to help her. And because of your differences, you’ll have a different perspective which can help benefit your direct sales girl. You can add value to her because you know her well, you see what she is going through, and sometimes you can see more than she can because of the perspective. In order to maximize this, you need to keep your eyes out and maybe look at a different piece of the picture than your wife is.

Here’s a personal example:

About two years ago, I married Holley. At that time, she lived in Chattanooga (and had been there almost all her life) and was a full-time Speech Pathologist in the Hamilton County School system (for 12 years). She was also a Senior Director with Thirty-One Gifts, having started with them in the early days of Thirty-One. Even when we were dating, she would talk to me about Thirty-One. Several times I had to talk her off the ledge of quitting the company entirely. She was overwhelmed with working full time in the school system. Working Thirty-One. Raising 4 children. Getting married to me. And then having to leave her beloved city of Chattanooga and move up here to blend our families together.

When we finally made the move, she ended up taking a job with home health. Many nights she would cry because she really just didn’t like home health. Especially not in a new city.

Here’s where the coaching came in. She was too close to things and felt like she was drowning. I had two areas of perspective she really couldn’t see:

1. I felt it was more important for her to be at home to provide a solid (and emotionally healthy) rock for the kids who were also moving into a whole new world. That first year in a new place can be incredibly hard. I wanted to make sure she was their rock. I put myself in her and then the kids’ position and could easily see how important this was.

2. I had been following her business for a while and had made some graphs of her income and business growth. That graph made me confident that she could do Thirty-One full-time and MORE than replace her income. She never saw this because for her it had just been this “little thing” she was doing.

As her coach, I urged Holley to quit home health. Actually, I had to put my foot down because she was so unsure of things.

But also, as her coach, best friend, and husband, I made sure she knew I was there behind her 100% to support her. She already knew by that point she could count on me. Since then, she has promoted to Executive Director and then Senior Executive Director and our lives could hardly be any better!

How you step in to be her coach will probably look different from my example. But you’ll find your own way as long as you follow these

Three Keys to Coaching Your Wife in Direct Sales

1. Put yourself in her position to see where she is.

2. Work alongside her to help her accomplish her goals.

3. Use your perspective to see things a little more clearly in order to navigate difficult waters.

 

Questions:

Girls: What do you think of the coaching points above?
Guys: How have you helped your wife through effective coaching?

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